They Say I Look Dead Now
by xx.archimedes
Summary: Harry remembers. SLASH.


**Title: They Say I Look Dead Now.**

**Rating: M. For _Mature._**

**Summary: Harry only has the memories left. **

**AN: Okay. So, I've had this one-shot idead in my head for a while now, and it was driving me insane. So I finally worte it. Please review. I like them. :)**

* * *

They say I look dead now. That my eyes aren't filled with the same sparkling light. They're right. I don't want to live anymore. It hurts too much.

You told me we would always be together. We we're going to buy a flat of our own after Hogwarts. We'd even planned a date to go look for one. It was above one of those shops in Hogsmeade. I can't remember the name of it anymore. It's not important, not when you're not here to share it with me.

Nothing's important anymore.

I was going to purpose, you know. I'd already bought the ring and everything. It's beautiful; I would like to think that you would have liked it. It would have looked even more beautiful on your pale slender finger. But I can't put it there anymore.

It's still sitting in the drawer of my nightstand. I can't bring myself to return it. That would be like admitting that you're gone. Even though I already know that I have.

You're gone. You're not coming back.

You weren't supposed to die. We we're going to live our lives together. We'd had plans about careers and things. But I don't have you to plan those things with anymore.

I killed him after that moment. When the streak of green light reached you before I could. I have nothing left anymore. You've taken it all with you.

I've tried to go there too. Where you are. But Ron and Hermione somehow manage to stop me each time. They miss you too, you know. Ron even admitted it.

That would have made you laugh. I never get to hear your laugh anymore.

The only things left are the memories. I live on them. Breathe with them. They are my life.

* * *

_You kissed me softly; I love the feel of your silky lips on mine. I made it deeper, pushing you down onto the couch in the Room of Requirement, while still keeping our intimate connection. My tongue glides along your bottom lip, asking silently for permission. You grant it. _

_Our tongues tangle together, stroking and exploring. I moan your name, and you moan mine. It's delicious, your mouth, almost like a drug. I can never get enough of it._

_Finally, we break apart, both of us breathing heavily. You lean your forehead against mine and look into my eyes. Your eyes fascinate me. They remind me of a storm, swirling and misty and gray. _

_They're beautiful. _

_You keep gazing into my own eyes, the connection between us intense. I want to tell you that I love you, but I'm afraid, afraid you wont say it back. You lean closer and I can feel your hot breath on my cheek. I shiver, jolts of pleasure shooting down my spine. _

_It's an insistent need. To tell you that I love you. It hurts keeping it inside like this._

_It forces its way out._

"_Draco, I love you," I breath, your name rolling of my tongue like a forbidden pleasure._

_Your eyes widen, and you gasp, pulling away slightly. It scares me. I shouldn't have said it._

"_I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"_

_You silence me abruptly, placing your lips over mine once again. I moan._

_You pull away._

"_I love you too, Harry Potter."_

_

* * *

"Harry," you whisper softly in my ear, my name sounding so much more beautiful when you say it, "I missed you." _

_I grin sheepishly and sit down beside you on the couch. You pull me closer. It feels so good; to know that I'm wanted._

"_I missed you too. Even though it's only been a day," I whisper back just as quietly, my breath ghosting across your ear._

_You chuckle. _

"_I don't care. I couldn't live without you for more than a day anymore. I need you."_

_Those words are so beautiful to me. They mean so much, hearing you say them. It's like it will never ever rain again. _

_But I suppose that's bad, because I've come to love the rain. The sky's the color of your eyes then.

* * *

_

_You come late tonight. I had been more worried than I'd wanted to be. You look paler than usual, and a frown mottles your face._

"_Are you alright?" I ask quietly, my hand reaching up to caress your soft cheek._

"_I'm fine," you snap, shying away from my touch. I pull my hand back. It hurts more than you know when you do that. It stings, like wasps are crawling along my skin ._

"_I'm sorry," I say, and you shrug, collapsing wearily down on the couch and putting your face in your hands. I frown._

_Crossing the room, I sit down gently beside you. I reach up and rub your shoulders. You move away. A jolt of pain courses through me. _

"_Just don't touch me right now," You growl._

"_Okay. Fine," I reply, trying to hide the tremble of pain in my voice. _

_A small crystal tear slips past my cover, and then another and another. You don't notice. Your face is still buried in your hands, looking away from me._

_I wipe angrily at the tears. You're obviously in pain. You don't need mine too. It hurts so much, though. I'd hoped that you could comfort me somehow. Remus died. _

_God, it burns, this pain. _

_I can't stop them anymore, and I turn away, trying to muffle the sobs. I'm afraid you'll lash out at me if you hear them. Crying is a sign of weakness. _

_You hear me gasp. Your silvery gray orbs search my face, and you notice the tears._

"_Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry. What's wrong?" You ask, guilt clear in your voice._

"_N-nothing," I manage to choke out, surprised that you haven't yelled. You don't believe me. I didn't think you would._

"_Tell me. Please. You can tell me anything, you know," You whisper soothingly in my ear._

_I break down, and you pull me into your warm embrace, rocking us back and forth._

"_He's d-dead, Draco. Remus is g-gone," I sob, and you whisper words of comfort, placing small kisses on my forehead.

* * *

_

_The war has been taking its toll on both of us. I worry so much about you. You have to do such dangerous things, being a spy for the Light. _

_We haven't been able to meet for the past week._

_Finally, you come through the door. I run across the room and into your arms. Your lips meet mine, and we kiss like criminals deprived of food. Oh God, it feels so good. _

_Your tongue strokes against mine, and I moan heatedly into your mouth. Tingles race from my lips down to my toes, filling me with irresistible warmth. Your lips tear away from mine, and you kiss my neck, licking and nipping your way down to my collarbone. My breath comes out in harsh pants, desire clouding my mind. I **want** you. So bad that it hurts._

"_Draco, please," I gasp out, and you look up at me through long lashes, "make love to me."_

_Quickly, you pull your mouth away from my neck, and I whimper slightly at the loss._

_You study me, your eyes searching mine. _

"_Are you sure you want to? You don't have to," You tell me, you're pupils dilating slightly in desire. It makes me want you more._

"_I want you. I need you. **Please**, Draco." _

_Kissing me softly, you walk us backwards towards the bed that's always been there, in the back corner of the room. My knees hit the mattress, and you lower me down gently, lying yourself on top of me. _

"_I love you, Harry," you tell me, slowly unbuttoning my dressshirt. _

"_I love you too, Draco."_

_Somehow, you divest us both of our clothing, leaving us tangled together and panting, only clad in boxers. I strain against you, rocking my hips with yours. We both groan, the friction creating a delicious heat between us. Your hardness rubs against mine, and I swear that stars burst in front of my eyes. _

"_Gods, Draco. I need you. **Now**," I whimper, and you moan, crushing your kiss-swollen lips against mine. _

_I arch my hips upwards, and you slide my boxers off, pulling your own off after. Your eyes close and you scrunch up your nose; it makes me want to laugh in spite of things. A small bottle of something appears on the table. _

_You climb back on the bed, enveloping me in your delicious heat again. The cap falls somewhere, and you dip two fingers in the clear substance. I don't ask you what it is. I trust you. A pale finder reaches between my spread legs, and you gently push against my entrance. I move my legs further apart. The finger slips in._

_I gasp and bite my lip, trying to get the burning pain to stop. A whimper escapes from my tightly compressed lips, and you feather kisses all over my face. The finger begins to push in and out. A second finger enters. _

_A small cry emits from my mouth, and you stop. I breathe deeply._

"_Don't stop. Please," I gasp, and you move both fingers. _

_Suddenly, you hit something, and a jolt of pleasure shoots through me. I moan loudly. _

_Oh God. _

"_Do that again. Oh..Merlin..yes," I groan and throw my head back. The pleasure sears through me, burning me. But it's a good kind of burn. Intoxicating._

_Your fingers pull out. I whimper, feeling suddenly empty without them. The sound of a cap unscrewing and screwing back on reaches my ears. _

"_Shhh. Shh," you sooth, coming to rest between my legs. _

_You begin to push inside of me, and I bite down hard on my bottom lip, trying to concentrate on something other than the burning down there. Suddenly, you push yourself all the way in, and a soundless scream escapes me, my mouth open wide. You stop, and look down at me, soothing me with your glowing silver gaze and soft lips. I relax, and you begin to thrust in and out._

_We eventually find a rhythm, and I try thrusting faster, but you don't budge. I whimper._

"_Draco, faster. Harder. You feel so good inside of me, filling me, taking me as yours."_

_You oblige,going faster and harder. I eagerly meet your thrusts, and pull my knees up further, causing you to penetrate deeper inside of me. You gasp and slam against that spot again. I keen and arch off the bed. Oh God, I'm so close. I can feel it. The pressure builds up. It's intense, so intense. My head thrashes from side to side, and I moan louder with each thrust. Soon, everything overwhelms me, and I explode, arching almost completely off the tangled sheets, my mouth opening and closing in speechless ecstasy. _

_I clench around you, and I feel your warm essence fill me. Shuddering, I collapse back onto the bed, and you pull out slowly. It feels empty without you._

_Your arms wind around my waist, and pull me close to you, so close that I can feel your rapid heart beat against mine. Drowsiness falls like a heavy blanket on top of me, and my eyes drift slowly closed._

"_I love you," I whisper into the darkness._

_Just before the blackness whisks me away, your soft voice reaches my ear, "I love you too, my beautiful."

* * *

_

_Your laughter chimes in my ears like music. I love your laugh. It's such a rare thing to hear. My hands and fingers wiggle relentlessly up and down your sides. _

_"Stop! S-stop," you gasp, laughing loudly. I chuckle lightly._

_"You have to say mercy first," I declare and you glare up at me._

_"Malfoys don't **beg**," you insist, and I snort. _

_"Then I guess I'll just have to keep tickling you."_

_Your lips clench tightly together, trying to prevent any sound from escaping. My fingers wiggle against just under your ribs. Despite your valiant efforts, laughter escapes from your mouth._

_"Fine! You stupid sod, mercy!"_

_I chuckle and stop, lying down on top of you. After a while, your laughter dies down and you wrap your arms around my waist, holding me tightly against you. A soft kiss lands on my cheek._

_I can feel the beating of your heart against mine.

* * *

_

You promised we'd always be together. 'Forever,' you said. I believed you.

But you lied.

**END.**


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